You know it's very heart breaking. I had a great week and weekend up until yesterday simply due to the fact I had no choice but to be harsh to my ex (my daughter's father). All my daughter wants is once a week calls with her own father. Whom to her is a stranger because he couldn't be bothered to even attempt to try for 8 years to see her, speak to her etc. He claims he regrets it. He's only seen her once, which was the first time in 8 almost 9 years in August. She made strange with him, met her sister (half sister) which she handled better and accepted was happy she's got a sister,etc.
Then she got like one time skype call with them before September before she saw her father and sister again. Where she met her granny (her dads mom) she hadn't seen since she was 1 years old. Same with her grandpa. She made strange with them too considering they didn't try at all to try to be in her life.
After that she was lucky enough to get once every few months to hear from him. I don't feel this is right nor that my child is her own father's priority. Family should be more then friends. Also okay I get his wife is 'sickly' I get his parent's health sucks and his daughter supposedly gets colds here and there. But all my daughter wants is 30mins once a week time with her own dad...whom she won't even call dad. She calls him awkwardly by his first name. Whenever he says he loves her she gets really akward and says nothing.
It just breaks my heart. I've tried my hardest to encourage a relationship between them but I'm so tired of trying to force it, or make the effort. So I got harsh on Facebook message with him last night. I felt it was my right considering my daughter's been really hurt by him, by him not even trying etc. He claims his wife won't let him, claims he's soooo busy. One is never too busy for their family or kids if they chose not to be busy. I'm sick a lot and yet I still make time to speak to my family, my friends. I make time and effort for her dad to speak to my child.
This is what's really the saddest. His wife verbally attacks me when me and him tried talking it out in voice call accusing me of 'being rude' and 'being out of line'. I wasn't rude. I wasn't out of line. Then she's yelling like a psycho saying 'how dare I threaten him'. Which I didn't. She claimed I was threatening ending communication again which I wasn't. I simply said I don't want to have to see him missing out on being in my child's life and I'm tired of having to force him to have a relationship with her or make time with her. THEN his mom gets on the call and says how I have no right and how good of a father my ex is, and how busy he is and how he doesn't have time for my child his child. And how he has to take care of his sickly wife and his daughter and how he has so much to stress about and how my child and I should respect and understand that he doesn't have time to even once a week speak to her and that we just have to deal with it! Oh she also said I dumped my daughter on him when he wanted to have a relationship with her. And called her trash to my face and my daughter's whose 9 almost 10 years old over Skype which made her every upset and sad enough that my daughter threatened screaming because of how nasty 'granny' was being...:/
She was getting even worse and ended up insulting my child because my daughter was upset saying my daughter wouldn't even hug her when she last saw her and I said yeah because you refused to be in her life for so many years your stranger to her and she wasn't ready to hug you by not feeling comfortable! Then she had the nerve to argue how I left my ex and it's all my fault and I said no it's not my fault you drove me away with abusing me verbally and treating me like trash and how this has nothing to do with me and him but him and his daughter being in one another's lives and how I do understand his situation however he still needs to make his kid a priority regardless! Needless to say I hung up on his mother and I told him I don't approve nor appreciate being talked that way or how she treated and severely upsetted my child. And I also told him based on how she acted that my daughter won't be speaking to her or seeing her ever again that his mother isn't allowed seeing her or communicating with her until she can act maturely.
She's said worse things to her other granddaughter 9 yrs ago saying how her mother was a whore,etc THIS is not acceptable to a child or being treated in that way. It's abuse no matter what. I'm sorry but if my own mother did that to my child who wasn't living with me she'd be told once it stops or she's out of my life. Difference is my mom is respectful and kind and not a mean cruel person like his mother is.
Also if I were married my husband would be told to accept and respect it. My ex's wife won't even let my daughter speak to her own father or her own sister once a week. She gets extremely jealous and throws a tantrum from what I've heard. I've had to resort to blocking his wife because frankly...
It's not up to her! I get being upset say if one wasn't told their hubby had another child before they married etc. That's within good reason and understanding. But I don't agree with thinking it's ever okay to pretend your own kid isn't important and doesn't exist. It's bad parenting, it's lack of priority. My daughter is my #1 priority.
Sorry for the rant...my daughter's really upset over this as am I. I needed to vent. Will delete this later.
Age 33 I've been drawing since I was 7. Painting since I was 20.
Sculpting now for under a year.
Current Residence: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
Favourite genre of music: Country/Hip Hop/Rock, etc
Favourite style of art: Drawings and paintings.
Operating System: Pencil crayons, paintshop pro, etc.
MP3 player of choice: N/A
Shell of choice: N/A
Wallpaper of choice: N/A
Skin of choice: N/A
Favourite cartoon character: Betty Boop & Betty Cooper.
Personal Quote: "With the sort of imagination I can muster up comes something different"